‘STICK IT UP YOUR …’
As well as being Middleton’s greatest comedian this side of Bernard Manning, Steve Coogan has taken on some challenging acting roles, not least when playing a version of himself. To set aside Alan Partridge, Tommy Saxondale, Paul Calf and those who still think Tony Ferrino was quite funny, actually, much of his acting reputation relies on those real-life figures he has brought to screen. Manchester man Tony Wilson, bongo king Paul Raymond, Stan Laurel, a loose appropriation of rag-trade tycoon Philip Green and that jingle-jangle former DJ it’s really best not to mention are on the list.
Coogan is a fine impressionist; on Spitting Image he did Neil Kinnock and Ronnie Corbett. He has never shied away from controversy; see previous paragraph for details. His latest proposed role is another embracing a situation that once rocked a nation, is still argued over, and to which a solution was never truly found, regret and recrimination reverberating to this day. More than two decades on, the fixation remains steadfast. Saipan is the largest of the Northern Mariana Islands, a US commonwealth in the Western Pacific, it says here. In Ireland, regardless of geographical location – even if that was part of the problem – it means one thing, the football civil war that exploded between Republic of Ireland manager Mick McCarthy and captain Roy Keane before the 2002 World Cup.
The tale – cheese sandwiches and all – barely needs retelling here and remains a huge event in 21st-century Irish history. In Cork, the rebel county from whence Keane hails, Football Daily heard tales of families holding emergency meetings to establish their position on whether Roy was right to ask to go home, or Mick was right to expel Roy. The lines between those two standpoints remain blurred to this day by two protagonists, who, if they share anything, is a granite core of stubbornness. Neither has wavered since. Interviewers only ask Keane about Saipan at their peril. You won’t get much change from Mick, either. Jason McAteer meanwhile has regaled many a sportsperson’s evening with b@ntz about the caper.
If Coogan probably does a decent Roy, he’s 58 these days so is playing Big Mick, brushing up on his bluff Barnsley accent and quiffing up greying locks. Mick was just 43 back then! That the film is scripted by Paul Fraser, who wrote Dead Man’s Shoes, gives rise to thoughts of Éanna Hardwicke, 27, a Corkman cast as Keane, playing some kind of Paddy Considine-like revenger. Can the film, directed by Glenn Leyburn and Lisa Barros D’Sa, who did the rather decent Good Vibrations, right the wrongs and bring final closure? That’s as likely as Roy and Mick signing up together as a pantomime horse for a season at Bognor Regis. Still, there’s the denouement, the explosive meeting where all hell breaks loose to look forward to. As will be the casting of whoever gets to play Steve Staunton, Robbie Keane and Niall Quinn.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
I’ll be honest, it was probably, football-wise, the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to deal with in terms of my own career. I was absolutely heartbroken. I also had some stuff happening off the field. People from the outside don’t see. They think we’re just robots. We have a life off the field. Sometimes it’s difficult to deal with that” – Jack Grealish with a reminder that footballers are just people, too.
I don’t know why but Sir Big Jim Ratcliffe gives off the air of one of those antiheroes of 1980s Sunday night TV dramas – Howards’ Way and the like. Or, more likely, Fry and Laurie’s John and Peter sketches. Charges into the boardroom, pours a scotch, slams a meaty fist on the table, then growls something about marginal gains that Dave Brailsford has whispered in his ear. Daaaamn, Marjorie!” – Darren Leathley.
After hearing all the furore about potential Premier League games in the USA USA USA, I want to add my two cents’ worth from across the pond. I would never spend a dime to watch Hotspurs end in a scoreless draw against Ipswich, and then have to explain to bewildered fans that: ‘Lads, it’s Tottenham’” – Dedric Helgert, Washington DC.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … Darren Leathley. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.
THE ‘GREENEST’ GAME
Elite football’s unrelenting push to save the environment continues apace on Wednesday in San Diego, California staging “The Greenest Game” as, er, Manchester United meet, er, Real Betis. Both teams have flown more than 10,000 air miles to be in SoCal, and Ramon Alarcon, Betis chief suit, says “our idea is to try and use the power of football to help promote environmental issues”. Biodegradable bags and a campaign to clean up Mission Valley, a local ecological preserve, are being planned. Meanwhile the far more practical – and green – solution of not using so much carbon-belching aviation fuel to trouser cash from fans watching pointless, bloodless friendly matches is still yet to be properly considered. For some reason.
RECOMMENDED VIEWING
It’s your man David Squires on … Everton and the game of chance.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Joey Barton has pleaded not guilty to an offence of malicious communications in relation to social media posts directed at the pundit Eni Aluko.
Chelsea have decided not to punish Enzo Fernández after he was shown on video chanting racist and homophobic slurs about members of the France team, after the Argentina midfielder made a voluntary donation to an anti-discrimination charity.
Meanwhile, the Blues are trying to pluck Victor Osimhen from Napoli on loan and are also in talks with Atlético Madrid over selling England’s go-to 12th man, Conor Gallagher.
Mikel Arteta believes his new dashing centre-back Riccardo Calafiori’s “specific skills” can help Arsenal make the final step towards filling their trophy cabinet with silverware. “[He] is a big personality and character … which will make us stronger as we push to win major trophies,” whooped the Gunners’ boss.
Brighton are reluctantly poised to allow Pascal Gross to do one to Borussia Dortmund after agreeing a deal worth an initial £5.9m for the Germany midfielder.
And Southampton have snaffled themselves a big man up front to replace Che Adams. “I’m absolutely buzzing,” cheered Ben Brereton Díaz as he switched from Villarreal in a £7m deal. “It’s been smooth these past couple of days. Watching the club when I was younger, it was always in the Premier League.”
STILL WANT MORE?
Ruud van Nistelrooy’s return to Manchester United has got Jamie Jackson all nostalgic.
Alexander Abnos, standing in for Jonathan Wilson, thinks all those Stateside friendlies are just a precursor to the dreaded £uropean $uper £eague.
And the transfer windows are getting hot in this weather. Click here for the women’s interactive, and here for the men’s.
MEMORY LANE
Brazil’s Garrincha (left) and Hilderaldo Bellini enjoy a game of outdoor darts in Stockholm at the 1958 World Cup. We’re a big fan of Bellini’s loafers with tracksuit bottoms.
