DID you know that most women wearing chastity belts during bygone centuries were not, as commonly believed, ordered to do so by their jealous husband to stop them sneaking off to their lovers?
Instead, it seems, wives actually chose to wear one to keep themselves “pure” from other predatory men while travelling far from their homes and hubbies.
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At least that’s what one exhibit explains at the rather naughty Sex Machines Museum in the Czech capital Prague.
Now if you’re a bit of a prude, then maybe best not read on. And if you’re easily offended, well, it’s probably better that you not look at the pictures, either.
For the museum, tucked away down a cobbled side street off Old Town Square with its famous medieval astronomical clock, is certainly not for the faint-hearted.
And some of the 300 or so exhibits collected from around the world and spread over three storeys, are, to say the least, a little naughty.
For instance, there’s a giant grinning teddy bear that looks so inviting to cuddle – until you glance down and gasp as you spot what’s hanging between its legs.
Then there’s a mechanised leather saddle that’s obviously never been near a horse, but has a lever on the side saying “Trot, Canter, Gallop”.
There’s also a replica of King Edward VII’s Love Chair – or Siége d’amour – which he kept at a Paris brothel and enabled him to have sex with two women at the same time.
The Brits didn’t call the randy monarch “Dirty Bertie” and “Edward the Caresser” for nothing!
Shocked local dignitaries were so appalled when the museum opened in 2002 that they immediately tried to shut it down, insisting it was “disagreeable”.
But the resulting hoohah just seemed to make the place more popular with tourists. And if you’re broad-minded enough, then the museum can be jolly good fun.
Indeed, when I visit one rainy evening, it is packed with goggle-eyed and giggling tourists.
Italian Oriano Bizzocchi, who collated the collection, claims it is the only museum in the world dedicated entirely to sex machines.
It is, he explains, “an exposition of mechanical erotic appliances, the purpose of which is to bring pleasure and allow extraordinary and unusual positions during intercourse”.
Some of the machines and items of “furniture” certainly don’t leave a great deal to the imagination.
Take, for example, the vibrator connected to an electric drill. Another one is attached to a toy tank, while a third is fired up by a little coal-powered steam engine.
PURPOSE FOR MACHINE
Apparently, this latter machine was invented in 1869 by American physician Dr George Taylor to deal with hysterical women.
A notice explains: “It was believed that hysteria could be treated by stimulating female genitalia leading to the ‘therapeutic’ orgasm of the ‘patient’.”
They were certainly big on female hysteria – a catch-all medical term used to cover anxiety and depression – in those days.
For nearby is a late 19th century exhibit designed to fire a strong jet of water at a women’s pelvic area in order to “cause a hysterical seizure”. Hmm!
There’s also a Pulsocon, invented by a Dr Gerald Macaura, which after being cranked up could vibrate 5,000 times a minute.
EXHIBTION ITEMS
This was advertised as helping “women loosen up and improve their blood circulation”.
Not surprisingly, the Pulsocon turned out to be a con and Macaura was jailed for fraud in 1914, although according to Wikipedia his machines were still being used in Ireland until the 1950s.
Inside another exhibition case lie a pair of very ordinary-looking rubber sandals – the sort of thing anybody might wear on holiday.
But these were used by Greek prostitutes with the words “Follow my steps” stamped on to the soles so they left an imprint on the earth behind them for randy men to follow.
One early 20th century exhibit looks at first glance like an ordinary innocent doll’s house, the sort of thing you might give your daughter for Christmas.
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Until you peer in a little closer through the window … and realise it is actually a scandalous brothel!
Turn a lever on the side of this “mechanical erotic theatre” and two figures inside the bedroom get, how shall we say?, rather frisky, while a third voyeur peers in at them through the keyhole.
Another rather strange-looking piece of furniture called The Smother Box is, it turns out, designed for the “erotic act of amorous coprophagy”.
DISCOURAGE DEVICES
But we won’t delve into that in a respectable family newspaper like the Irish Sun.
Displayed nearby are several 19th century devices used to discourage teenage boys from masturbation – including one that rang a bell in his parent’s bedroom if he became aroused during the night.
Another had a series of sharp little spikes which painfully closed around a certain part of his anatomy should he have “impure thoughts”.
GO PRAGUE
GETTING THERE: Ryanair fly direct to Prague from Dublin, but it’s often cheaper to travel with them to Luton and then travel on with WizzAir.
STAYING THERE: I stayed at the very comfortable Miss Sophie’s Downtown Hotel.
And next to them is a French woman’s cagoule nightie from the 1700s with a hole in the material to allow her to have sex “in a very honourable way”.
Printed on it are the words “Dieu le veut” – or “God wants it like this”.
Downstairs on the ground floor next to a display of corsets through the ages and pictures from the Folies Bergère in Paris, there’s a little cinema showing ancient black-and-white porn movies.
On the way out is a cabinet containing a few souvenirs like woollen “penis-warmers”, novelty condoms (which come with a warning: “Recommended for entertainment, not contraception”) and naughty playing cards.
Right by the exit there is a Love Tester chair, which gives visitors a rating from “Frozen” to “Burning” and then the ultimate “Sex Bomb” when they sit down.
Me? Hmm, I’m not telling – that’s my secret!
